Thursday, 31 May 2007

First dip of the summer

After weeks of humming and hawing over whether the pool water's temperature was warm enough to swim in, I said "To hell with it!" It is 30 degrees Celsius outside and ridonkulously humid (think: Cuba). Tony was in the house with Sacha, and I was checking the pool temperature (for the millionth time). It read 20 (Celsius, which I think is around 70 Fahrenheit). That's around room temperature, right? Since there is no one behind our house, and our neighbours were inside basking in their air conditioned glory, I stripped off my skirt and dove in wearing my halter top and G-string.

First reaction: F*CK it's cold! All milk reserves must be frozen!

30 seconds later: Should put my head under. That will even out the cold.

1 minute later: It's so nice in here! Should take off my halter. Is Lynn (neighbour) outside? Nope.

2 minutes later: Taking off a wet halter while submersed in water is not easy. Must plan ahead next time.

5 laps later: Could really use a cold cooler or margarita.

10 minutes later:

Tony: Sarah! I have to go back to work! What are you doing out there?

Me (to myself) : Well, I'm NOT skinny dipping, that's for sure...

Me (shouting): Can you bring me a towel?

Tony emerges from the house with S and a towel: You're swimming? Is it ok in there?

I exit the pool, and he sees my (basically) bare bum and extremely wet halter top.

Tony: WOW. I can see right through your shirt! The areola and everything!

Me: Thanks for that. (Because I didn't already know that wet T-shirts were see-through.)

30 minutes later:

Blogging about pool while not actually in pool because a flash thunder/rain storm set in. Stupid weather.

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

lol brb ttyl cyers

Glancing over my blog entries, I realized something: my writing skills are not as great as they once were.  I know that the Interweb (see comment #1) is often not the best showcase of one's skills.  I am, however, capable of writing well.  I got an A+ in a senior level philosophy course, for goodness sake!  Why is that applicable?  We had to write responses to the literature and classroom discussions in dissertation-form on a weekly basis and I aced those puppies.

Now, I start most of my "dissertations" with So I was...

Most of my e-mails take off with Whaddup?

What worries me most is not necessarily that I am becoming a lazy writer.  I know how to write and I can do it when I want and need to. What worries me is that most kids today use the internet, e-mail and messenger as their main form of writing practice.  And I think we all know what kind of practice that is:

fncyqueen23: whaddup? 

spiceebrnette2: n2m. u?

fncyqueen23: OMG im SOOOOOOOOOO bored...rents have ppl dads friend is this old guy with a majorly combover...lmao

 spiceebrnette2: lol...thatsux...what r u doing 2morrow?

 fncyqueen23: i dunno...mayB c a movie with john

  spiceebrnette2: SWEET hes so hot!

fncyqueen23: oh,

 spiceebrnette2: k...well g2g neway

 fncyqueen23: k...ttyl

spiceebrnette: yup cyer l8r

Are these girls possessed by demons?  Do they not know the appropriate use of the ellipse?  Or of capitalization? Or of vowels? Or of apostrophes?  Lynne Truss would have a bird flamingo!

Tuesday, 29 May 2007

The first haircut

A picture tells 1000 words, so rather than describe it to you, I have it in photos. It was not as traumatic for me as I thought, but Sacha may tell you otherwise.

Before the cut

Before the cut. Just look at those long wisps of hair!






It's so much worse than my circumcision!


I'm SO over it, now. Look how cute I am!

Cutting our hairs

Sacha has his first hair cut appointment at 3:00 today. I know it's time, as he has crazy bed-head every morning, but it makes me sad to think of cutting those long blond locks that he's been working on for the past 9 months.

Keep it together, Sarah. Keep it together. You had him circumsized, this is nothing.

Massacre at Ye Olde Book Shoppe

A friend and I went to the local bookstore this weekend to pass the time while our husbands were working on the pool in the yard. I had a specific book in mind for myself, and apparently so did Sacha.  I hadn't bothered to put S in the stroller since he and the stroller have had a bit of a tif in the past few days and I knew that they weren't on amicable terms.  This meant that while I was browsing for books, he would be in my arms or on the floor of the store.  Mistake number 1.

I found the book I was looking for (Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal) in the first couple of minutes, then I just browsed around, looking at the bargain books, kids' books, and obviously, knitting books. as I grazed through the kids' books, shuddering at the horror of the onslaught of Dora books (how I hate her so much), I looked down to see S playing with a little purse/book.  Aw, that's cute, I thought.  I found a unique ABC book inspired by Canada's love affair with all things hockey and flipped through it.  I looked down to show S the book, only to find that the entire bottom shelf of the kids' book section was empty, and my son was in the middle of the pyramid of paper and board.  Oh crap.  My friend (who is expecting her first child in 5 weeks) and I acted quickly to toss the books back on the shelf (not giving a shit about ISBN numbers or author's last name).  Unfortunately, S thought this was a game.  Mistake number 2.

He kept yanking books off faster than we could throw them back, and then he sat in the middle of the aisle and worked his own organizational system on both shelves within arm's reach at once.  Dora: floor.  Munsch: floor.  Dr Seuss: floor.  Pat the Bunny: mouth, then floor.  He then crawled to the Young Adult section, where he started working his magic on the Gordan Korman books, the Spiderwick series, and the Harry Potter books.  All of these found a new home on the floor (after he tasted the paper, of course). I quickly grabbed a couple of touch-and-feel books and tried to read them to him (or at least get him to touch-and-feel them) while my friend threw the books back on the shelf.  He looked at the book, made no attempt to touch-and-feel it, then turned to the knitting books and tossed them on the floor.  Sweet merciful crap.

I scooped his little diaper bum up, walked to the till while my friend finished covering up our disaster, paid for the books while he struggled in my arms for his freedom, and raced out of the store before anyone could blame me for the obvious mess we'd made.

As it stands, we have not yet been banished from the store.  Book stores don't have fingerprinting and DNA recognition tools, right?

Monday, 28 May 2007

Virgin no more!

Even though I am married and have a son, I was a virgin.  No one could convince me to do such a foul and disgusting thing, let alone that it was pleasurable!  I couldn't stand the smell of it, the thought of it, or be near anyone else doing it.  It's so messy, I thought, as I avoided it by saying "It doesn't agree with me" or "I think I may be allergic."  A few weekends ago, however, my neighbour convinced me that my time had come.  It was time to give up the innocence and join the rest of the adult world.

I was nervous.  What should I wear?  What should I bring?  Were any special tools required?  What would I use to clean up after it was all over?  But she helped me along and showed me the way.  I started slowly at first, unsure of myself.  Then, it began its seductive dance in my mouth and I acqured a taste for it, realizing how foolish I had been to avoid it all these years.  It wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be.  In fact, I could see myself doing it on a regular basis, if I had enough money to sustain it.  My husband likes it, so that would definitely make it easier for us.

Up until a few weekends ago, I was a virgin.  A seafood virgin.  But I have now tasted the wonder of lobster, and I know now what I have been missing, and I am sure wishing that I would have tasted its seductive wonders a lot sooner!


Chewing on one of its little legs...succulenty goodness...

Sunday, 27 May 2007


As much as I am addicted to knitting and all things yarn-related, I am even more obsessed with teaching. You can imagine my utmost delight when a friend asked if I could help her learn to knit. OH BOY! Double the fun! Although, she is expecting her first baby in 5 weeks, give or take, so this doesn't leave a lot of time to really play around with yarn and colours and needles and patterns and fun techniques. It will be knitting: the crash course, version S.A.N (hmm, can you guess what my middle name is?)

Any other interested parties can forward their apps and $$ to Knitting New Interesting Tantalizing Yarn Offerings Unlimited (henceforth known as KNITYOU).

Friday, 25 May 2007

Like father, like son

For your consideration:

Photo 1, taken 5 years ago, of T trying to get candle wax out of his boxers after he blew out a candle with such vigor that the hot wax spat back at him, splattering his body with waxy goo.

Photo 2, taken yesterday, of T's offspring trying to get a toy out of the toy box.
bum.jpg bum2.jpg

Photo 1                                         Photo 2

Thursday, 24 May 2007

How to deal with the heat


All in the family

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a number and name that I did not recognize.  I was not screening my calls (as I am often prone to doing) but I had missed it as I was trying to get the little dude to sleep.   As I am not one of those crazy people that returns phone calls to people when you don't even know who they are ("Yes, you called my house?  What is your name?  Oh, it was a wrong number.  Ok, bye."), I just deleted the number.  Turns out she is a relative on my mother's side.  She is actually my pepère's (grandfather's) cousin.  Granted, that means she is elderly, but she had spoken with my memère (that's right, grandmother) and memère gave her my contact info, as she was visiting her son here in town.

She decided to pop in to see me, and I was amazed at how loving and warm she was for never having seen me in her life.  To top it off, she LOOKED like she was related.  She resembled a couple of my aunts, so I guess I now know where those characteristic looks come from.  She visited with Sacha and I outside, talked about her family, wanted to know if I play any instruments (music is BIG on that side of the family) and did the general bonding thing.  It felt as though I had known her my whole life.   In fact, if she lived here, I'm sure I would visit her regularly (as I have no family here).

It's amazing to me how the ties of blood can be so thick and entangled into our being without really realizing it.

Share time!

I am on my laptop watching my son rub arrowroot cookie mung into his hair, but my sister-in-law sent me this link.  Too good not to share:

Click me!  You know you want to!

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Hitting the books

I was an avid reader growing up. My mom says that when she would wake up in the night to nurse my younger sister, I would wake up and bring her a book to read to me while she nursed. I have since wondered what the hell my dad was doing during those times, but I can't ask him, so I guess I'll never know.

But I digress.

University brought a halt to my reading-for-fun. Honestly, after reading text after article after math proof, the only page I wanted to turn was in my InStyle mag. But now that I am a little freer, I am back into the books with a vengeance. So here's a snippet of the literary entertainment that I have blessed my eyes and mind with in the past few months:

The Time Traveler's Wife - Brilliant and mesmerizing. I still think about those characters as though they are real people in my life. It is by far one of the best books I've read. EVER. The others would be Life of Pi, One Hundred Years of Solitude, and The Piano Man's Daughter. I could go on and on about these books, but I won't. Read them for yourself and discover.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Though not a literary masterpiece by any means, it kept me turning the page. I appreciated the Phoebe storyline more than Paul's, so I kept reading to find out more about Phoebe, though I didn't learn as much as I would have wanted.

Getting Rid of Matthew - I bought it at the airport to read on the plane and the cover looked fun, but I had never heard of it or the author before.This is a British chick book à la Bridget Jones, and although it took me awhile to get into (I found the beginning rather forced), once I hit the midpoint of the plot I was hooked. It's the antithesis of a romance novel, and funny to boot. I could see it ending up as a romantic comedy someday. Well, an anti-romance romantic comedy. Maybe just a comedy. Or a dramedy.

Now, I must confess the following: I am reading the Traveling Pants books. Actually, I've read the first 3 Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, and am right into the fourth book. How are these freaken books so good? The characters are a bit cliché, and the whole idea of being joined by the pants "together and apart" is a little ridiculous, but I love them anyway! In fact, when I finished the second book last Sunday, I immediately ran to the computer to request the next book from the library (as the bookstore was closed). I have not seen the movie, so I have no idea if its cheese factor is greater than gorgonzola, but the books are fun, light, and did I mention FUN? Must read, people. Must read.

Moo Baa La La La - What the hell, I love it. Sacha loves it, everyone loves it.
And yes, I still flip through the ads of my InStyle on a monthly basis. Not that I can really buy any of what is in there (damn American department stores) but I love flipping just the same.

On second thought

In thinking about whether I am ready (and willing) to go ahead and jump into pregnancy numéro deux, I came across this insane story of Mrs Q's delivery.  Now I am having doubts, and considering going the Brangelina route and grabbing myself a toddler instead.

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Stats nerd

I used to laugh at how Andi used to talk about her blog stats. Using my own independent blog format using iWeb on my family website, I did not know what kind of stats she was talking about. Stats to me was T-scores, z-scores, standard deviations, etc. Mostly things I remember from Stats 151 in my first year of university. Now, I see the attraction.

These fancy charts! The diagramme à ligne brisée (frick, can't remember the english word) is so pretty! And looking at how people found my wee blog is so fascinating. Not to mention the ever intriguing hit counters. Of course, I am not going to start bragging about my numbers, because they are still in the small time. But T was pouting over his blog stats, thinking that his hits should be higher, not realizing that he's only been part of the biz for 2 days. Umn, dear, it's ok that your numbers are low. It's ok. I know you want to be as cool as me, but not everyone can be. I love you anyway <3

Sunday, 20 May 2007

I'm so witty and giddy and bright!

OH BOY!  After a long wait, my website has finally made its way into the big time!  Well, the sort of big time.  I guess it's the moderately sized time.  But I digress.  My sheer delight is spawned from the fact that you can now Google us and find something worthwhile!  Before, whenever you Googled either my name or my husband's, nothing ever came up except old U of A alumni crap, obituaries of other Chuks, and a list of the multitude of letters that T has written to various newspapers and journals.  Now, when you Google us, you get to go here! And it only took 10 months for those Googly spiders to find us!

However, now that I have moved my blog here, and my husband has decided to follow suit, the only thing you will really see on our site is photos and the like.  Not too interesting for those who don't know us, but still!  VICTORY IS MINE!

Saturday, 19 May 2007

I answer the age-old question

Does Cheeze Whiz cause migraines? Or mustard, perhaps?

No, you say, that's absurd! Who would ever think that?

Why, search engines do! I'm not entirely certain which one, exactly, but some poor guy was looking to learn more about migraines, he typed it into a search engine and was led *gasp* here! How do I know this? Blog stats, people. Blog stats.

Now, I will admit that I have had my share of migraines, but I have never known them to be the result of an overindulgence in plastic edible oil Cheeze whiz.

Or mustard.

The Dirty Thirty

The Dirty Thirty unknown facts/secrets about yourself:

1. Explain what ended your last relationship?
oh boy, wasn't a great relationship, many ups and downs, and it sort of ended when I started seeing someone else. Terrible, I know. Even then, I never really had the guts to tell him face to face why I married someone besides him (how dare I!) until a few months ago never. I lied. I really am a terrible person.

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?

3. What were you doing this morning at 8?
listening to the sounds of a freak out starring my son at the notion that his daddy wanted to go to the bathroom without an audience.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
calming my son after another freak out, although this one was totally warranted, as I stupidly took him for a walk in what turned out to be an ice pellet storm.

5. Are you any good at math?

6. Your prom night?
If by prom you mean aftergrad, then I went with my boyfriend and spent much of the evening doing things I shouldn't have.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Samuel de Champlain (well, he's in my family tree, anyway)

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
An application for a Starbucks Duetto Visa. Best idea ever.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
Hot chocolate, water

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Mostly yes, except on my mother's , as she never checks them anyway.

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Amanda Marshall, Fall of 1996 or 1997 (I really don't remember the specifics)

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

Too busy applying layers of sunscreen to avoid the lobster look

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Getting my dry socket cleaned up, or something like that, after having my wisdom teeth pulled out. I lost 10 lbs having those suckers removed from the lack of eating skills.
16. What is out your back door?
I don't have a back door. Fire hazard much?

17. Any plans for Friday night?

18. Do you like the ocean?
Yes, but not the sharks that swim in it.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?

Fortunately, no!

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

Yes, with about 20 3-year-olds.

22. Something you are excited about?
Baby Seasen to be born!

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?.
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?

25. Describe your key chain:
a chain that screams "I am a teacher!" as it is one of those ones that goes around your neck. Did I mention it is pink with butterflies? And that my house key is yellow with coloured hearts on it?

26. Where do you keep your change?
at Starbucks

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Depends what you mean by large. I am a teacher, so I speak in front of a less than forgiving audience regularly.

28. What kind of winter jacket do you have?
Double breasted wool jacket from Le Château

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
open, no thanks to the damn cat that lives here.

30 more:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was your first thought?
My hair looks stupid

2. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?
aw, that's a no brainer

5. Who is the last person that called you?

7. What shirt are you wearing?
An orange American Eagle Outfitters hoodie
8. What were you doing 20 minutes ago?
Probably starting this survey blog thing

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
No shoes.

10. Dark room or bright?
Bright, keeps the vampires out. Wait, I think that's garlic and crucifixes. Either way, I've got it covered.

12. If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
Depends who's sleeping in the other one...

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

15. How do you like your eggs?
Right now, unfertilized

16. What's a word/phrase that you say a lot?
Hey dude! (when speaking to my Sacha-man)

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
My mom on the phone this morning

18. Last furry thing you touched?
I peeled Mr Dash (my cat) off the laptop 2 seconds ago.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Drugs - prescription or otherwise?

20. How many rolls of film do you need to develop?

film? HA!

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
The summer when I was 23 rocked the house, but being 24 is when I became a mama and that was great.

22. Your worst enemy?
I don't have any enemies that I know of...

23 whats your desktop picture?
Sacha with cookie mung all over his face

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I'll call you and let you know. Oops, I should get on that.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which one would you choose?
Fly what? With my own wings? Shit, give the million bucks.

26. Do you like someone?
I like most people.

27. The last song you listened to
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
I'd love to punch my husband's boss.

30.If you could be anywhere right now, where would that be.
Back home with my mom (cheesy, but true).

Is it sad?

Sacha is napping, but I am still planning on watching the Backyardigans, as it is an episode that I haven't yet seen. Does that make me pathetic? Or sad? Or just pathetisad?

Friday, 18 May 2007

Why am I here?

I've moved! That's right, I am here, but I used to be there. I will still keep my existing blog entries there until I save the ones that I want to keep for the S-dude. For now, I am learning all about the wonder that is blogging on my laptop. When I figure the rest of this out, you will be much entertained, I assure you.

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

A new super-hero: THE DETANGLER!

In an effort to support my addiction, Tony has said very little about my yarn and needle purchases. In fact, he almost looks interested when I talk about how much I love working a heel (don’t judge me). But the true measure of his love shone last night.

Mr Dash had spent much of Sunday playing with a hank of bright orange yarn while we were away for the day. I returned home to a massive mess of yarn, which was supposed to be for Tony’s woolies. I worked on detangling it for 2 hours yesterday, and had to cut the yarn twice. I gave up and threw it on the floor and went to read a book. Tony spent over an hour and a half sitting on the kitchen floor detangling, and managed to wind it into a nice little ball for me, placing it in the cupboard with our plates so that Dash could NOT work his evil ways with it. And Tony shall be henceforth known as The Detangler. I’m sure the Backyardigans could have an excellent backyard adventure about this.

PS - I just realized that the proper word is untangle, but I think The Detangler is a better superhero name.

Monday, 7 May 2007

Felting in a front loader - not so good

Success! My first pair of adult slipper-socks! They are to be felted, and although I did run it through the washer once, they did not felt as much as I wanted for two reasons:
1. Our hot water tank is set to “piss-warm”, but I really should set it to “my skull is on fire” hot.
2. Our washer is a front loader, meaning not a lot of water (normally a good thing) and not as much agitation to felt.

Other than that, I am very happy with the results.

I am making a chart of my friends’ and family members’ shoe sizes for future reference. Feel free to send me sock yarn at any time and I will gladly transform it into a magical wonder of feety comfort.

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Sick babies are no fun

Signs that your 8 month old son may be sick:

1. He sleeps remarkably well through the night after a week of waking several times to engage his Maman in a night-time game of Battleship. True, the fact that he can understand and use coordinates is astonishing, but I could care less about my son’s genius level IQ at 1, 2:30, 3:30, 5:15 and 7:00 am.

2. Upon waking, he plants his face firmly into your shoulder and weeps “Oh Maman! I’m SOOOOOOOOOO sad!” Speaking skills aside, these are not exactly fun times knowing full well that Maman is the antithesis of a morning person, and she, herself, is usually the one crying “Oh, Sacha! I’m SOOOOOOOOO sad!” each morning.

3. After an hour of moaning and whining, an attempt to give him baby tylenol of the grape variety, which he usually sucks back and tries to slam the entire bottle, results in a vicious gag reflex thereby leading to a trail of purply-cerealy vomit down my leg.

4. He eats his lunch very reluctantly, allowing a mouth opening of mere millimeters to cram food into. The result: much blueberries and yogurt all over his face and mixed with the snot-fountain that has sprung from his nose. Need I mention that yogurt and blueberries are 2 of his favourite foods and that it was a pure treat to let him have only that for lunch because of Maman’s attempt to make his sick little self feel happy?

5. While playing his mini piano of 4 keys (that form a major chord when played together, thank goodness), the mini piano flips to its side. This is purely unacceptable and can only lead to a total crydown of Niagara proportions while cupping his head in his hands and firmly planting his face into the floor and crying “WHY?!?!”

6. The Backyardigans cheer him up for a few minutes, but he then realizes that he is sucking on a soother covered in the snot fountain’s juices, turns to me, and buries his head in my chest while Pablo sings “It’s great to be a ghost.”

7. Any attempt to try and clean up or minimize the mess that is a runny baby nose is met by extreme violent flailing of arms and screams of injustice.

8. Maman starts putting liquor in her hot chocolate just to get through the day.