Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Yo, she write good an' everything

I often use very colloquial language on this blog. I write as I speak talk. So you may get the impression that I am not so skilled in the area of written verbosity. I present to you proof that I am not an idiot.

Let me set the scene:

My Baba recently sold her house and moved into a condo my aunt had bought for her. The government, in their infinite "wisdom" cut part of her pension because they claimed that she was now living with a relative rent-free, while previously she was a homeowner. In reality, however, her expenses have not changed, since she is running the condo as her own (maintenance and all). So, seeing that I am edumicated and all, she asked me to write a letter for her to the seniors' benefits department and appeal their decision.

The following is what I wrote:

To Whom It May Concern:

In recent correspondence with the Seniors Services Division, it came to my attention that my application for ASB is under review due to a change in my residence status. My current benefit has been calculated based on the erroneous residence status as "other." I am living in a property that is owned by my daughter, but I reside alone and maintain the property in her absence at her request. My daughter has not, at any time, resided in this property.

While it is true that I am not a homeowner, nor a renter, I reside in a property in which I am financially responsible for all utilities, maintenance of the property and other costs that may arise. My financial obligations mirror that of a homeowner. As such, for maximum benefit calculations, I believe that my residence status should be considered equivalent to that of a homeowner. My monthly expenses are virtually the same as they were at my previous residence as a homeowner, and I would expect that my ASB should reflect this, as it is my understanding that the ASB is to provide assistance to seniors for their monthly expenditures related to the cost of living.

Please make the appropriate adjustments to my application and inform me when the benefit calculations are complete.



Ok, so I obviously signed her real name at the bottom.

Summation: I write good.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

I'm allergic to diets

Tony joined Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago.  He has been wanting to lose weight for a while (he is about 40 lbs heavier now than when we met).  I, the amazing chef and probable cause for his weight gain, have decided to help him out by cooking less "good".  A challenge for me, I know. Not to toot my own tuba, or anything.  I'm just that good.

I made some banana bread last night, following a lower-fat recipe and substituted Splenda for sugar.  I tasted the batter, and it tasted alright.  Then, I started to feel ill.  Vomity, even.  I waited for the bread to come out of the oven, then sliced some for myself.  I chowed it down, and still felt ill.  In fact, I was writhing on the couch from the nausea. It felt like I was pregnant with Sacha "I make my mommy puke" Adam all over again.

I told Tony I thought I was allergic to Splenda.  He laughed.  Said it was impossible.

I felt sick all night.

I felt fine when I awoke this morning.  I noticed that Tony and Sacha had enjoyed a couple of slices of bread and left a few crumb pieces on their plate.  I ate them up, not thinking anything of it.

Now, I feel like poop on a stick.

I think I am allergic to diets.

Aw, well.  Back to fried perogies with bacon for me!

Thursday, 13 November 2008


Everyone things that their child is a genius. Smart, at the very least.

So when I brought Sacha to be formally assessed by an SLP, I was expecting to hear things like "His non-verbal communication is making up for his lack of words" or "He's just a little behind. It's nothing to worry about."

I was not expecting to read a diagnosis of:

  • Severely Delayed Expressive Language

  • Severe Phonological Delay

During the assessment, Sacha scored an age-appropriate standard score for receptive language. His expressive language, however, scored him in the second percentile. As in 2nd. As in 98% of children his age scored higher than him. His expressive language is the equivalent to that of a child aged 1 year 3 months. Sacha's chronological age is 2 years 3 months.

It's difficult, to say the least. To us, Sacha is a very smart boy. Seeing the words "severely delayed" when relating to our son is heart wrenching. I am asking myself how I could let this happen. Tony wants to know why Sacha is not vocalizing many phonemes. We read to him all the time. We speak to him all the time. He communicates with us in his round-about way. He has a fantastic memory, especially for details. He loves telling stories about things he sees, things he hears, games he plays, or crafts he makes. The only catch is that these stories are largely gestural and minimally vocal.

He can't say oo, ay, aye (long i), eh, oh, or make any sounds that end in a consonant, or say his own name, his brother's name, or the simplest words, such as eat or no, that he makes us guess in our eternal game of charades.

So we now play the waiting game for a block of speech therapy sessions to open up, always wondering what we could have done differently.