Sunday, 10 February 2013

Angah Burs Staw Woas!

Like most little boys, mine are obsessed with Angry Birds.  We have bought every Angry Birds game on our iPad, we have the Knock on Wood game, we have Angry Birds plush toys, we bought Angry Birds valentines, we gave out Angry Birds Halloween treats.

Then Angry Birds Star Wars came out.  And this is what I think went down at the Rovio office:

Yo, Rovio?  George Lucas here. I noticed that everyone in the freaking galaxy knows about Angry Birds and little boys are nagging their parents' ears off to buy them anything Angry Birds related. I know what that's like.  Little boys used to all play Star Wars.  What?  You've never heard of Star Wars? Are you taking the piss? EVERYONE KNOWS STAR WARS. Luke Skywalker? Darth Vader? "Luke, I am your father"?  NOTHING?
Holy crap.
How about I partner up with you and we make a quadrillion dollars by turning my geeky movie into mainstream chic. Let's call it: Angry Birds Star Wars.  There is a whole generation of kids that have never seen my movies, but if you turn them into cute little birds and piggies, they'll be begging their parents to watch the original movies.  Maybe I'll re-release them on blu-ray...Then we'll make games, figurines, action figures, we'll put the word EXCLUSIVE on the box and charge more money! Whaddya say?

I say: It worked.

Here are my boys, battling to the death, listening to the Star Wars overture as played by the London Symphony Orchestra (which they asked me to buy on iTunes...) playing with their Star Wars trademarked lightsabers. While wearing an Angry Birds Star Wars trademark shirt.  They have watched Star Wars Episode IV about a dozen times since December. I should also mention that they decorated their room with static cling Angry Birds Star Wars decals.  And I think it looks pretty awesome.  Even iBean is into it: Angah Burs Staw Woas! And R2D2?  She calls him Tooty Dooty.  She can also pick Yoda out of a line-up: Iss Yodaaa!!

Here's the other thing: I'm glad.  Although I know this is directly being marketed to my kids to make them nag me to buy stuff, there are a lot worse things my kids could be into.  Justin Bieber for one. Crack for another.  Luke Skywalker didn't do crack. I can't say the same for the Biebs. Well, I don't know that for a fact.  Maybe he's also clean.  But he wore a onesie to perform at a concert.  A ONESIE PEOPLE.
Han Solo never wore a onesie.
Nuf said.

Monday, 4 February 2013

We keep track now

After an evening of epic projectile vomit spurting from two of our children, Tony and I spent the morning cleaning up the house, washing a bajillion blankets and pajamas, and trying to get the day sorted out. 
I made myself a coffee, stirred in some cream, put the spoon on the counter, had a sip.  Tony grabbed my spoon, puts it in the sink.  Then wiped the counter where the spoon left a coffee drop.  I looked at him and said: Geeeze.  I was going to do that.
He looked at me: I'm TRYING to tidy up around here.
Me: And I am glad that you are. 
T: Well, it seems like I'm the ONLY one trying to keep this place clean lately.
Me: *insert stunned look* Are you serious? You're not serious. Are you SERIOUS?!
T: Well, I do all the laundry, fold all the laundry, clean up the kitchen, do the dishes.
Me: Aaaaand I do nothing? Are we keeping track of WHO DOES WHAT now?
T: Well...sheesh. I said it SEEMS like I do all the housework.  Not that you don't clean.  It just feels like I do it all.
M: Ok.  Well, I sweep every day, usualy more than once.  I have been washing the floor at least twice a week since Rogen* went on holidays, I vacuum a few times a week, I clean up the toys, I scrub the toilets.  Oh, and I shovel the driveway. You have not shoveled the driveway ONCE this year!
T: I shoveled by proxy when Noel came over and used his snowblower.
M: That SO doesn't count.  I totally clean all the time.  You just never notice because the kids mess everything up like 2 minutes after I clean.
T: Well.  I didn't know that.  Thank you.
T: Well.  Glad we cleared that up.
M: I also mopped the basement floor because SOMONE had orange juice down there, spilled it, and it happened long enough ago that all that was left was sticky goo, not juice. I didn't tell you at the time because I didn't think we were keeping track.**
T: Oh.  Well. Ahem.
M: Yes. Quite.
T: *in a terrible british accent* Do you like my accent?
M: *sigh* Go away.  I'm very busy and important.

*Rogen is our awesome biweekly housecleaner.  She does a once over of our house every two weeks for us. She went on holidays just before Christmas and I have been picking up the slack ever since.  Apparently no one noticed.
**And since we're keeping track, I also scrubbed the bathrooms and washed the floors this morning. Again. So there.