Picture it: Boxing day, 2007. A little boy woke up way too early and brought his daddy along for the ride. His mommy promised daddy that she would take Sacha out of the house in the afternoon to give him a break, since Sacha is purely a daddy's boy.
His mommy decided to brave the mall and pick up some calendars for 50% off (because she's smart and thrifty like that) with the little dude in tow. They shared an ice cream cone and seemed to be having a good time. Mommy then decided to go to a department store and see if she could find some sales on kids' stuff, mostly bedding. She found some, and then browsed the aisles to waste time with the dude. The little dude came across one of those push-around popcorn popper things and he pushed it around the entire store with pure glee in his smile. It was pretty cheap, so Mommy decided to buy it.
Then things got ugly.
While Mommy tried to wait in line at the cashier, Sacha and the popcorn popper took off, trying to make a run for it out of the store.
Mommy ran after him, grabbed him, and put him in his stroller.
The little dude managed to slide himself out of the stroller and take off. Again.
Mommy tried to strap him into the stroller. He collapsed into a pile of rubber on the floor, kicking and screaming. I hauled him over my shoulder, and he screamed more.
Then I thought about the situation: the little dude clearly did not deserve this popcorn popper thing, no matter how cute it was to see him push it around the entire store. Being a little shit totally disqualifies one from receiving toys, IMO. So I left the items at the cash register, and marched out of the store with the dude tucked under my arm like a football, and let him have his temper tantrum in the area outside the store.
I managed to get him strapped in to the stroller and we left the mall. Of course, he stopped crying as soon as he realized that he was not getting the toy, and tried to make amends with me by being all cute and cuddly. Ha ha. Too late for that, kiddo.
So there. That initiates me into the "parents of toddlers" club, right? Please use the comments section to remind me that I am not alone.