Wednesday 22 August 2007

Can you count to ten?

In the spirit of Molly's lessons on the Big Cunty Couch, I decided to take some mid-afternoon doll-school classes and have discovered that I, too, can count to ten:

1 - number of one night stands I've had

2 - number of times I've smoked the wacky tobacky

3 - number of centimeters I was dilated after 8 hours of labour

4 - number of consecutive hours of sleep I had last night

5 - number of best real life friends I have that AREN'T mamas

6 - number of guys that tried to pick me up on a single night at a club (ah, to be young...)

7 - number of kisses bestowed upon me by Elliot yesterday

8 - number of times I've read Anne of Green Gables

9 - length in inches of my husband's penis (HE WISHES!!!)

10 - Amount of time it takes to drive to Millet and back from my in-laws when traveling 170 km/hour. Not that I have ever taken my BIL's sweet-ass Honda Civic out for a spin and cranked up the tunez and tested out that theory. And I have no proof that you can go up to 90 in third in that puppy. Or that the VTEC really purrs when you get her going.

6 comments:

  1. i heart anne of green gables...must go find it and read again. great post.

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  2. Oh, must clarify: 10 minutes, not hours or seconds. Minutes.

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  3. I think #9 is my favorite!

    Men are measuring impaired.

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  4. Hey, it's all in his mind, Andi. All in his mind...

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  5. That is a hilarious list! I love that!
    J

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  6. What is your Elliot? Mine is a nearly four-year old boy.

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Thoughts? Comments? Questions?