Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Can you count to ten?

In the spirit of Molly's lessons on the Big Cunty Couch, I decided to take some mid-afternoon doll-school classes and have discovered that I, too, can count to ten:

1 - number of one night stands I've had

2 - number of times I've smoked the wacky tobacky

3 - number of centimeters I was dilated after 8 hours of labour

4 - number of consecutive hours of sleep I had last night

5 - number of best real life friends I have that AREN'T mamas

6 - number of guys that tried to pick me up on a single night at a club (ah, to be young...)

7 - number of kisses bestowed upon me by Elliot yesterday

8 - number of times I've read Anne of Green Gables

9 - length in inches of my husband's penis (HE WISHES!!!)

10 - Amount of time it takes to drive to Millet and back from my in-laws when traveling 170 km/hour. Not that I have ever taken my BIL's sweet-ass Honda Civic out for a spin and cranked up the tunez and tested out that theory. And I have no proof that you can go up to 90 in third in that puppy. Or that the VTEC really purrs when you get her going.

7 comments:

  1. i heart anne of green gables...must go find it and read again. great post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, must clarify: 10 minutes, not hours or seconds. Minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think #9 is my favorite!

    Men are measuring impaired.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey! I was there for #2! I loved this post. Except for the part where you made me picture my brother's penis. You will pay for that one, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, it's all in his mind, Andi. All in his mind...

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is a hilarious list! I love that!
    J

    ReplyDelete
  7. What is your Elliot? Mine is a nearly four-year old boy.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?