Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Definitely NOT overreacting

It's Monday, better step on the scale, see how much I gained last week --> I step on --> what? That can't be right --> step off, step back on --> WHAT? 5 lbs in a week? OMG, I'm gonna be huge --> wait, what if this means something's wrong --> oh no, I have hypertension --> the baby is going to be born preemie and small like Sacha --> I'm going to have to go on meds --> frick I hate pills --> good thing I have benefits --> Shoppers has shitty benefits --> maybe I should go to Shoppers and use their blood pressure machine --> yeah, I shouldn't get worked up for nothing --> I go to Shoppers, take off my coat --> stupid bubble jacket, frick I wish my other coat would fit right now --> I put my arm in the machine --> hum the jeopardy song to myself --> what? 148/80? That can't be right --> repeat jeopardy song --> oh crap, 143/86 --> I am getting hypertension --> I'm going to die --> I can feel the blood in my body pulsing against my skin --> that's definitely what having hypertension feels like --> what if I get preeclampsia again? --> I'm going to be stuck in the hospital and the baby is going to have to drink formula and won't nurse --> I'm fo sho going to die this time --> stupid uterus and its lack of stretching abilities --> that's totally what it is --> if I was living 200 years ago I'd be dead already --> I'm like those dumb cows who have to have their calves pulled out of them with ropes because they can't push them out properly --> that was so gross to see --> poor calf --> I can't believe they named him Matthew* and then butchered him --> Matthew tasted good, though --> it's not wrong to think that, right? --> how did I get on that? Man my mind is deranged...


*Matthew was a calf that my aunt's family raised and butchered for meat. I don't know who named him Matthew, but I vividly recall my Baba commenting at a family meal that Matthew sure was tasty and tender.


  1. I get those crazy racing thoughts at 4:00 am or I have the most god aweful vivid weird dreams. Hang in there only a few months to go.

  2. Dude. That sucks. Thank God for meds (and I'm certain a militant breastfeeder like you will be just fine).

  3. Gotta love when your mind races, eh?

    We butcher little Matthew's all the time...I have ordered the kids to stop naming the animals we eat.

    It creeps me out.

  4. Hrm. I was more disturbed when Mrs. Moo was chopped. I liked her. I also have completely random racing thoughts, zig zaging from topic to topic, then, when I reach a scary conclusion light years away and bring it to other's attention, I just come off autistic.....

    Or is it genius that our minds move so fast??

    5$ on jenius...

  5. whoa whoa whoa! dude....slow down! you're too much like me with the dangerously wandering mind and thoughts of doom. stop!

    maybe you should try humming a different song...maybe Jeopardy stresses you out unbeknownst to you! ;-) and if your Shoppers is anything like mine, just being in there can raise your blood pressure!

    and that cow thing....i grew up on a farm, and i've seen it all. and most of it ain't nice! ;-)

  6. haha ... reminds me of me!

    I guess I'm not alone.


  7. [...] So maybe I overreacted just a tad Update on the mind-wandering anxiety: [...]


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