Sunday, 15 January 2012

First you get him a mickey of rum...

After posting about my impending tubal ligation, I was asked by a friend why my husband was not getting a vasectomy.  I'll admit, this is not the first time I've fielded this question. Most people do not understand: I went through four pregnancies, one miscarriage followed by two months of complications, one easy delivery (Keesadilla), one semi-complicated delivery (Sashimi), one dangerous birth (iBean). Haven't I been through enough?  What can I say? I get off on being a martyr? No...that doesn't sound right.  I'm a sucker for punishment? Uh-uh.
Last year, when I first brought up the subject with my family doctor, asking what needed to be done in order to get a referral or whatnot to get my tubes tied, he looked at me with serious eyes and said:

"First, you get a mickey of rum.  Then you give it to Tony and tell him to grow a pair and get a vasectomy."

I burst out laughing.  I love my doctor, but that was the first time I had ever heard him say something like that.  I then explained that Tony is MORE than willing to get a vasectomy.  I think he wants to be a baby and be catered to for a few days.  Too bad, sucka!  He used up those get out of housework cards when he screwed up his knee playing ball hockey and sprained his ankle for the 4th time. However, my logical process is this:
I am the one who has the health problems related to pregnancy. I am the one who should not have any more babies.  If something were to happen to Tony (God forbid) and I ended up remarrying, I still should not have any more babies.  However, if something happens to me (God forbid) and Tony remarries, he can procreate at will.  He is a great dad, and if he wants to have more kids with a second wife, that is fine by me.*

Does this make sense? It does to me, but I know I can be a bit irrational sometimes.  Especially when I lose things (Where the heck are my keys?  TONY!! HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS?  Oh for fuck's sake.  I had them in my purse and now I can't find them.  Freaking kids always moving my stuff around...fuck!  I'm going to be LATE!  WE'RE ALWAS LATE!  I HATE BEING THAT FAMILY WHO IS ALWAYS LATE! Tony and your damn running on Mexico time all the time...Where the FRICK are they?  *puts on jacket, feels in pocket* OH.  NEVERMIND!  I FOUND THEM!)

*Although after this very LONG Christmas break with Sashimi being home and the boys doing an exorbitant amount of fighting and us doing more than our share of yelling and kicking some ass**, Tony says he is now sure that he does NOT want anymore

**I do mean kicking ass metaphorically. We in no way kick our kids in the ass.  Or anywhere else for that matter.  Unless you're talking about Mario Kart. Then we sometimes kick Sashimi's ass.


  1. I love that "missing keys" bit; we all get that from Mom. I am just as bad, as Jason can attest.

    Also, the whole remarrying thing was the first thing that came to mind for me. Makes sense to me.

  2. To quote my hubby, "I AM NOT GETTING SNIPPED!!!! The only person allowed to touch my nuts - whether I'm conscious or not - is YOU!!!"

  3. Hahah Stef I was JUST thinking that was ME too! Lol. Leigh made me make my keychain bigger each time so that it was too big to hide anywhere. It's a two-fister on a lanyard.

  4. Link this post for them to remind them of the trouble you had!

  5. Talia: I totally forgot about that post, so I just linked up to it under "I am the one who cannot have any more babies." Or something like that.

  6. I did kind of wonder if that might be a reason. I have a friend with 4 babies who doesn't want any more and her husband refuses for this very reason. Which, in their case, I think it's really selfish of him since he's horrid when she's pregnant. But that's really here nor there.
    Oh, and that is exactly what I sound like when it's time to go out the door. I also blame my mother. She lives like half a block from her school and when I was subbing there for a week I would routinely beat her to the teacher's meeting (as in, she was actually late for the meeting)... and I lived half an hour away! ;)

  7. I don't think that comment came across the way in intended it to...
    What I was trying to say is: I think your reason is perfectly valid. My friend's husband on the other hand is not valid. :P

  8. I completely get your reasoning. I had my tubal for the same reasons. I don't want/shouldn't have any more. If something happens to me Randy can procreate all he wants. Good luck with the surgery (did you post somewhere when your having it?) There are a couple of things the doctor did not tell me after I had mine done that I discovered on my own one of them being the swelling after surgery (internally) lasts a lot longer than you think. All I'm saying is...get some good fiber going in your diet as you'll need it. Good luck.


Thoughts? Comments? Questions?