After posting about my impending tubal ligation, I was asked by a friend why my husband was not getting a vasectomy. I'll admit, this is not the first time I've fielded this question. Most people do not understand: I went through four pregnancies, one miscarriage followed by two months of complications, one easy delivery (Keesadilla), one semi-complicated delivery (Sashimi), one dangerous birth (iBean). Haven't I been through enough? What can I say? I get off on being a martyr? No...that doesn't sound right. I'm a sucker for punishment? Uh-uh.
Last year, when I first brought up the subject with my family doctor, asking what needed to be done in order to get a referral or whatnot to get my tubes tied, he looked at me with serious eyes and said:
"First, you get a mickey of rum. Then you give it to Tony and tell him to grow a pair and get a vasectomy."
I burst out laughing. I love my doctor, but that was the first time I had ever heard him say something like that. I then explained that Tony is MORE than willing to get a vasectomy. I think he wants to be a baby and be catered to for a few days. Too bad, sucka! He used up those get out of housework cards when he screwed up his knee playing ball hockey and sprained his ankle for the 4th time. However, my logical process is this:
I am the one who has the health problems related to pregnancy. I am the one who should not have any more babies. If something were to happen to Tony (God forbid) and I ended up remarrying, I still should not have any more babies. However, if something happens to me (God forbid) and Tony remarries, he can procreate at will. He is a great dad, and if he wants to have more kids with a second wife, that is fine by me.*
Does this make sense? It does to me, but I know I can be a bit irrational sometimes. Especially when I lose things (Where the heck are my keys? TONY!! HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS? Oh for fuck's sake. I had them in my purse and now I can't find them. Freaking kids always moving my stuff around...fuck! I'm going to be LATE! WE'RE ALWAS LATE! I HATE BEING THAT FAMILY WHO IS ALWAYS LATE! Tony and your damn running on Mexico time all the time...Where the FRICK are they? *puts on jacket, feels in pocket* OH. NEVERMIND! I FOUND THEM!)
*Although after this very LONG Christmas break with Sashimi being home every.stinking.day and the boys doing an exorbitant amount of fighting and us doing more than our share of yelling and kicking some ass**, Tony says he is now sure that he does NOT want anymore kids...lol
**I do mean kicking ass metaphorically. We in no way kick our kids in the ass. Or anywhere else for that matter. Unless you're talking about Mario Kart. Then we sometimes kick Sashimi's ass.