Screwed

I changed Sacha’s diaper and found that the base of his penis was bleeding as if it had been cut by a paper - papercut style of bleed.  My initial reaction: HIS PENIS IS GOING TO FALL OFF!  I regained my composure and took him promptly to the night clinic, where a lovely doctor examined him and told me that he had eczema on his pubic area, and that it was nothing to worry about.

I then decided to ask her about the whole sleep thing.  For those who don’t know, Sacha has been sleeping for a maximum of 3 hours straight at night.  He wakes up to eat or suckle about 50 times a night.  Ok, so maybe that’s an exaggeration.  Last night he was up about 10 times by midnight.    Whatever the number, it’s bad.  The doctor asked all the doctor questions and determined that we seem to be doing everything right, but that he may be growing a lot and is hungry and ready enough to start solids.  Yea!  I can do that!  Then we had this convo:

Dr: “Is he always this active?” (noting his flailing limbs and his rolling about on the table while devouring his entire fist and laughing maniacally).
Me: “Yup, pretty much”
Dr: “Does he move around at night?”
Me: “Sometimes, when I go get him when he wakes up, he has rotated 180 degrees in his crib. In fact, now that I think about it, he was constantly moving when he was in the womb, too.  He didn’t go more than 20 minutes without kicking my ribs or jolly jumping on my bladder.”
Dr: “Well, he may just be an active kid who will not really need a lot of sleep, or will not sleep very soundly.  That may just be his personality.”
Me (in my head): Oh Fuck.

Oh great, my son is a wreck. His penis is falling off and he’s going to have ADHD.  Best I buy stocks in Ritalin now.