After an evening of epic projectile vomit spurting from two of our children, Tony and I spent the morning cleaning up the house, washing a bajillion blankets and pajamas, and trying to get the day sorted out.
I made myself a coffee, stirred in some cream, put the spoon on the counter, had a sip. Tony grabbed my spoon, puts it in the sink. Then wiped the counter where the spoon left a coffee drop. I looked at him and said: Geeeze. I was going to do that.
He looked at me: I'm TRYING to tidy up around here.
Me: And I am glad that you are.
T: Well, it seems like I'm the ONLY one trying to keep this place clean lately.
Me: *insert stunned look* Are you serious? You're not serious. Are you SERIOUS?!
T: Well, I do all the laundry, fold all the laundry, clean up the kitchen, do the dishes.
Me: Aaaaand I do nothing? Are we keeping track of WHO DOES WHAT now?
T: Well...sheesh. I said it SEEMS like I do all the housework. Not that you don't clean. It just feels like I do it all.
M: Ok. Well, I sweep every day, usualy more than once. I have been washing the floor at least twice a week since Rogen* went on holidays, I vacuum a few times a week, I clean up the toys, I scrub the toilets. Oh, and I shovel the driveway. You have not shoveled the driveway ONCE this year!
T: I shoveled by proxy when Noel came over and used his snowblower.
M: That SO doesn't count. I totally clean all the time. You just never notice because the kids mess everything up like 2 minutes after I clean.
T: Well. I didn't know that. Thank you.
M: YOU'RE WELCOME.
T: Well. Glad we cleared that up.
M: I also mopped the basement floor because SOMONE had orange juice down there, spilled it, and it happened long enough ago that all that was left was sticky goo, not juice. I didn't tell you at the time because I didn't think we were keeping track.**
T: Oh. Well. Ahem.
M: Yes. Quite.
T: *in a terrible british accent* Do you like my accent?
M: *sigh* Go away. I'm very busy and important.
*Rogen is our awesome biweekly housecleaner. She does a once over of our house every two weeks for us. She went on holidays just before Christmas and I have been picking up the slack ever since. Apparently no one noticed.
**And since we're keeping track, I also scrubbed the bathrooms and washed the floors this morning. Again. So there.