Monday, 28 May 2012

Loooooooooong Summer

Let me preface this post with an obvious, but need to state explicitly, statement:  I love my son.  I would do anything for him, I love him to pieces and wouldn't change a thing about him, because he is unique, brilliant, and oh-so-popular with others.  Girls included.

Last night, while cuddling with Sashimi in bed, I told him that he had to go to school today because this was the last week of kindergarten.  He was fine with that, and then Keesadilla chimed in: Yea!  And then Sashimi will be home everyday!  I could only weakly mutter: yeeeeeaaaah...

Because here is the honest truth: I am dreading summer. It may be a shocker to some of you, but Sashimi and I don't get along so well on a day-to-day level. We love each other fiercely, but somehow we butt heads at everything.  He hurts himself, he blames me.  He has to do chores, he yells at me and blames me.  When he asks for a snack and I tell him no, he gets upset and says that I can't control HIS body. I am somehow stifling his individuality and sense of being just by being his mother.

I never thought it would be this way.  One of my best friends has a very similar relationship with her nearly-10-year-old son.  When I met them six years ago, I saw the way he would get frustrated and mad at her, and I thought it would NEVER be that way with my as-of-yet unborn child.

Fastforward six years, and it's the SAME. Sashimi is an amazing kid. His teachers have nothing but glowing praise for him, he is very well-liked by his classmates, busmates, bus driver, and the neighbourhood kids.  Other kids' parents think he is soooo neat, and he is.  He is awesome. 
Somehow, his awesomeness and my natural awesomeness cannot be in the same house for too long or they create some sort of sinister reaction that turn us both into snarling venomous beasts.  We feed off each other, and it's just a whirling cesspool of yaksauce. 

School keeps us both on better terms.  He has a great day with his friends and comes home in a good mood, and it generally stays that way until he goes to bed.  Non-school days are another story. He needs stimulation outside our home, and I can't blame him.  I spend all day taking care of his train-loving brother and baby sister, our world revolving around her naps.  It's not exactly a 5-year old's dream summer. 

I have been trying to look at my summer options for operation: stay sane.  Thus far, my search for summer entertainment for Sashimi have come up short.  He is too young to register for our community's Summer Fun program (trust me, I called).  There's the library's reading program, but that still means I have to drag iBean and Keesadilla with me, which may be more trouble than it's worth.  To top it off, I feel guilty because if Sashimi knew that I was trying to find ways for him to get out of the house away from me, he would get pretty anxious. He doesn't like being away from his family for any reason other than school: he would even rather stay home and not play with his friends than go to a friend's house alone. 

So, if anyone has any ideas they want to share on how to keep both Sashimi and I sane and on good terms for three whole months, please let me know.  And in this case, alcohol is not the answer.  Ok, maybe it's one answer, but it cannot be the answer everyday. I have a figure to maintain...

1 comment:

  1. Dang... I'm not sure I have any thoughts, but you've described my relationship with my oldest son... maybe I should rethink keeping him home from kinder next year... and here I thought having him at school all day would be a bad thing... oy!


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