Thursday 30 October 2008

The main bullet point of this presentation


  • Sacha pronounces pumpkin "cappi". How the heck does that happen?

  • The pumpkin I carved yesterday had an anus. The pumpkin Tony carved had a pseudo-anus (it was closed up). Like someone who has had a colostomy.

  • Keeping with that, how do people with colostomy bags fart? Does it smell? If so, like regular farts or more like baby-spit-up (partially digested prunes and what-not)?

  • Why is Hippo Monkey always so constipated? And why doesn't Lactulose work for him? Does he have bowels of steel or something? Or maybe some sort of micro-steel that doesn't absorb anything and won't flex to let the poop out?

  • Why is software so expensive? I really want Dreamweaver CS4, but I really don't want to pay $399 for it. And Santa is not that rich in our house. Or in my mother's house. But I do really want to get into web designing. Frick on a stick.

  • On that note, why the heck is Tupperware so expensive??

  • Furthermore, must get ideas for Christmas gifts for the Hippo Monkey (aka Kees) that Sacha will not steal the minute the unwrapping is over.

  • Scratch that. Impossible.

  • Is wealth distribution really such a bad thing? If so, I must be a Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Or worse. A FRENCH Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Wait. I am French. Hmmm...

  • How am I to keep Sacha away from the Halloween stash so as to prevent further candy-sugar-induced night terrors? Like the one last night that woke up his brother? Oh wait. His brother wakes up every 2 hours for his damn suce (aka binky, toot, soother, crack, whatever else you call it in your house).

  • Happy Feet is the most annoying movie ever made. And WHY do people think it is a kids' movie? Showing the penguins being all sexed-up and dirty dancing-like and with At.ti.tude. It's just creepy. That's all. Just creepy. Goonies...now THERE is a good movie! And it teaches a good lesson, too: don't drop your baby, or when he grows up, he'll throw you off a pirate ship.


Answers to any of these are most appreciated. In the comments section. Right below. See? Yeah, you know you wanna.

8 comments:

  1. Talia Nickonchuk30 October 2008 at 17:30

    You still have an anus with a colostomy bag. Steel is spelt steel, unless you're referring to theft. By 'of wait' I think you meant 'Oh wait'.
    I think you're spele cheque is busteed.

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  2. It's not busted. You're right on time :)

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  3. So I know the answer to your third bullet. ..don't think you want to know though, it's unpleasant, but probably easier...that should be sufficient to answer the question ;)

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  4. ha ha ha ha! And Happy Feet, not a kids movie and not remotely funny as an adults movie. FAIL!

    Will you get mad at me if I tell you I have a hacker uncle who's sending me a copy of CS4? I'm conflicted. I really need it, but I really don't like the idea of using a hacked copy. Then again I've been using his hacked copy of CS for the last 4 years...

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  5. I cannot believe I looked this up, but apparently, the colostomy bag inflates:

    http://carriebeam.blogspot.com/2007/09/everybody-farts.html

    I totally deserve cool points for having the giant fascist Google database record "fart colostomy bag" in its giant table of things I am apparently interested in. :)

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  6. We need to make rainbow signs for our front yards that say "Gay Nader Fan For Peace." I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a huge crush on Jon Stewart for that one.

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  7. By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. Works wonders! Have fun.

    ReplyDelete
  8. By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. (her back is leaning on me) Works wonders! Have fun.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?