The Accidental Pixie

The kids have been gearing up for today all week: a costume-halloween party at a friend's house. Everyone was dressing up, adults included. My kids have had their costumes figured out for a week (iBean for much longer) and leave it to me to be making mine at the last minute the morning of the party.
But it's not my fault. I am not good at dressing up for anything, and I saw this cute idea online of how to make a Paper Bag Princess costume. So I was busy cutting away paper this morning and putting it together in the living room, making a total mess of the place. The kids were pretty happy with that and iBean was colouring on the scraps of leftover paper, Keesadilla was colouring and cutting and glueing. All very good crafty wholesome stuff.
Once my costume was done, albeit too wide for my shoulders, but whatevs, I hopped into the shower and began making myself look like I had just had my castle blown  up by a dragon. Which was not hard, since my entire living room had been blown up by a last-minute DIY costume attempt.
As I was teasing my hair and back-combing and hairspraying and rubbing mascara on my face to look like soot, I heard Sashimi yell: MOMMY! SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!
I'm thinking, oh no, another creeper on Minecraft which I don't understand and what the hell is a creeper anyway.
Then: MOMMY! KEESADILLA AND IBEAN ARE CUTTING THEIR HAIR!
I run into the living room. iBean is sitting on a stool. Clumps of her ice-white lockson the table, alongside some darker chunks of brownish blond.
Audible gasp. LOUD GASP. Hands to mouth, almost choke on my fist from all the vacuum-style inhaling and OHHHHing.

Woe is me and my poor barely-grown hair

Everything was quiet. But my loud gasping and sighing and near-moaning. Then I asked the obvious question: Who cut iBean's hair?
Keesadilla: I did. Are you mad, Mommy?

Me: Well...WHY did you cut her hair?

Keesadilla: I think it looks better this way.

Me: Noooooooooo, it doesn't. And we have family pictures on Monday!

Keesadilla: Don't worry Mommy, hair always grows back.

Me: It won't grow back by Mondaaaaaaaaay!

Keesadilla: When is Monday?

Me: in two daaaaaaaays!!!!!!!!!1

Keesadilla: Oooooohhhhhhhh. 

Then I look. The hair chunks are glued to a piece of paper. There was motive behind this. I don't know if I understand it, but there was some sort of reasoning. For a split second, I actually pictured myself madly gluing all those white locks back onto her head. OH THE DEVASTATION! THE TRAGEDY!

Then I look. iBean says: Mommy, Kees is cutting my hairs. My hairs is short now!

And she smiles.

Obviously not bothered. At. All.

Punk-chic by Brother

She just sat there. She smiled. I tried to smile, but all I wanted to do was continue breathing into the paperbag costume. I know hair grows back. But not in 2 days. 

I texted my hairdresser the picture of the hairpocalypse. She texted me back right away and said she could fix as best she could f I took her right away.

Keesadilla was looking really concerned. I told him we would NOT miss the costume party, so not to worry. But that's not what he was worried about.

"Are you gonna take me to the police?"

"WHAT? No. I am not going to take you to the police. But can you just promise me that you will NEVER EVER cut hair again??"

Keesadilla looked at me, hesitant. I know he was really thinking about it.

"Yeah, Ok, fine."

Then I grabbed iBean and ran to the salon. Wait, did I mention that I was half decked out like a paperbag princess whose castle just got blown up?

Like this?

Who needs a hair cut NOW??

With mascara all over my cheeks and leggings and a top meant to go under the paperbag ,and backcombed to high heaven, we went to the salon.

The stylist said it was bad. Not the worst she's seen, but there would definitely be cowlicks she just couldn't fix.

When all was said and done, iBean came out like this:

Add a bunch of hoops in her ear and she could be me circa 1999

She had a sucker, she was happy.

Then mad dash home to go dress up for the party:

My sweet little Punk-Chic-Pixie Scooby Doo.

Good thing she's so cute!

Hair-apy

Kees had a comb-over hair-do when he emerged from the womb. A full head of dirty blond hair, neatly parted on the top (to the right).



Then, after the age of 3 months, it began to wear off on the sides.  It was thinning out as his head grew, or so I thought.



And then, all of a sudden, at 5 months, it looked like this:



And this:



And people started to talk.  In fact, at a party last week, one of my cousins interrupted another to ask me what the deal was with Kees's hair.  She asked if I had cut it like that.  Another cousin of mine actually told his wife that I had cut it that way on purpose.  Obviously, he did not clear this notion with me first.

Now why the heck would I cut it into a faux-hawk like that?  So I explained that he was born with a full head of hair, and then he began rolling in his sleep from side to side, rubbing all the hair off his head EXCEPT for the top.

I have always been against cutting my own child's hair.  That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.  But today, I bit the bullet and cut The Hair.





I think I may have just sent Kees into therapy.