Sunday, 17 June 2012

Sweat-induced hallucinations

It's been about two weeks since I wrote about Insanity.  Today is Day 20.
Some things I have discovered in the past 20 days (and 20 workouts):
  1. Covergirl waterproof mascara is not sweatproof.  It runs like watercolour paint all over your face and into your eyes...and it burns. ACK!  It BURNS!  AAAHHH! Get it off!  Get it off!  Oh. Wait.  That's not the mascara that burns.  It's my sweat.  What the heck is sweat made out of?
  2. Sweat, as it turns out, has small amounts of ammonia in it.  It all makes sense now...
  3. Plyometrics is just fancy talk for a lot of bouncing around and sweat-flinging, the way a dog shakes itself dry.  Except I'm not trying to shake the sweat off.  It just flies off of its own free will.  As long as it's not in my eyes, it's all good.
  4. Except when it pools on the floor and then when I am plyometricking around my shoe actually slips in it.  
  5. Plyometricking does amazing stuff for your legs and butt.  My legs have not been this strong since I used to be a dancer.
  6. I was a Ukrainian dancer, not a female form of Magic Mike.
  7. I am pretty sure I could crack a nut between my thighs.
  8. Ack. Change nut to walnut.  That doesn't sound so dirty.  I did mention that I was NOT an exotic dancer, right?
  9. After I crack that walnut, I could put it in a bowl and rest that bowl on my muscular shelf of a bum.
  10. The last time I rested a bowl on any part of my body was when I rested a two-piece chicken meal from KFC on my enormous pregnant tummy the day before I went into labour with Sashimi.  And popcorn chicken.  And coleslaw.  And a tub of gravy.  Mmm...gravy...
  11. Where was I? Oh yeah, Insanity.  While the workouts are still crazy hard, my muscles are not sore anymore.  
  12. My muscles are getting larger, though.  My quads are definitely bigger, but in a nice way.
  13. Big enough that I have gained about 3 lbs, but not lost any inches.  Well, I have lost a couple, but I am not saying where.  It will only make Tony mad.  BUT one of the best and most unexpected things that has happened is...*drumroll*
  14. My evening blood pressure, which has been an issue ever since I was pregnant with iBean, has gone into the normal range!  I guess working out IS good for blood pressure.  Darn self-righteous pamphlet and its being right in its righteousness...


  1. Hi Sarah: I just got the address of your blog (from our vacation blog). So you're a math teacher. Wow, I thought you could have learned from my mistakes (just kidding). Drop me an email if you get the chance -

    Wade Kanzig

  2. LOL about the inches thing... I'm a bit worried about that myself, but I have a LOT to spare so... hopefully I can get rid of the stomach soon. I have a yoga DVD, I just need to get it out... And yes, yoga is a workout, just not an insane one! ;)
    But seriously, yay for the blood pressure thing!!! I'm on the opposite end, mine is so low that I have to be careful when I get out of the pool after lap swim or I pass out walking across the deck. Not pretty. My dad actually has a doctor's orders to eat potato chips to keep his up. Crazy!
    We just won't talk about the cholesterol issues I inherited from my mother...


Thoughts? Comments? Questions?