Pet Shop Rules

While putting the boys to bed, Sashimi suddenly cried out and complained that it felt like something was biting his toe. I knew the cat was outside, so it was not her. My next thought was some sort of spider, which would be so gross. So I jumped off of the top bunk to check out his toe. Nothing.
That was not good enough for Sashimi, so I turned on the light, inspected his toe with really close eyes, rubbed it, poked it. Still nothing. Whatever made him feel like he was being nibbled on was clearly gone.
Keesadilla, always the president of the peanut gallery, quickly ponted out: I hope it's not a slug that can climb up bunk beds.
Me: Keesadilla, it is not a slug.  Slugs can't get into the house.
Keesadilla: Well, yeah, but like that would be so. Gross. And I don't want them biting me.
Me: They don't bite people. They don't even leave gardens.
Sashimi: Keesadilla, it wasn't a slug that bit me. It was probably nothing and just a weird feeling in my toe.
Keesadilla: Yeah, Sashimi, but still.  I do NOT want to be attacked by snails or slugs.
Me: That's not going to happen.
Keesadilla: If I owned a pet shop, the rules would be No slugs climbing up beds, or on the ceiling, or on cat's faces, or ATTACKING PEOPLE.
Me: Good rules. But slugs don't attack people.
Keesadilla: Yeah. Because they have to follow my pet shop rules.
(pause)
Now can you come and change my blanket? It's HOT...