Insanity: CHECK!

I have completed the Insanity program. 
COMPLETED. 
As in I've done 63 days (not 60, like they advertise: 9 weeks = 63 days) of gruelling, sweat-inducing, profanity-shouting, vomit-producing, work-til-you-drop workouts. 
And I am DAMN proud of myself.
I used to be an active person in my before-kids days.  As a kid and teen, I was a dancer, so I had those awesome dancer legs. When I met Tony, I used to work out 5 days a week, doing cardio and weight training. 
Then I got pregnant with Sashimi, started feasting on Hot Rods and Bounty candy bars and avoiding all things fit-related.  It's not that I didn't want to be in shape.  It's just that I was so sick, I was eating anything that would make me feel well enough to function.  Then after I had the baby, I had a really hard time getting back into any type of exercise regimen: breastfeeding and pacing the hallway at all hours of the night with my non-sleeping baby were my main forms of physical activity, followed by melting breastpumps, reaching under the crib to find lost soothers, and using my foot to push the gas pedal in the car to get more coffee.
Then I had another baby, then a miscarriage, then a scary pregnancy and a preterm delivery, followed by a bout of hyperthyroidism.  I lost all of my baby weight and was nearly 10 lbs lighter than before I ever had kids.  That meant I was in great shape, right?
Wrong.
It meant that I had somehow 10 lbs of muscle mass that once graced my body thanks to the, you know, exercise I used to do had been lost thanks to the, you know, six years of sloth and gluttony.
And how do I know that?
Because 64 days ago, I did the Insanity Fit Test and discovered that despite my slender body, I was really not in shape.  Actually, I was the antithesis of in shape.  I was in flab.  Or in floom.  Or out of the box.  It was really bad. After each of those workouts for the first week, I had to recover on the floor in a puddle of my own sweat for a good 15 minutes before I could actually get my arms to pull my limp body up the stairs so that I could pass out on my bed.  And each day, every stinkin' muscle was yelling at me.  But I persevered. I was not trying to lose weight, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, that I could get back into shape, and that I could enjoy exercise again.
After a month, I began to notice that I actually gained energy from doing the workouts.  Don't get me wrong, they were still gruelling.  But they also gave me a buzz like an extra cup of joe.  Too bad I usually did my workouts at night after the kids were in bed and I was wired until past midnight.  And that's where the Fifty Shades trilogy came in handy...
On the last day of the program, you repeat the same Fit Test that you do on the first day, and compare your results to see how you have improved.  You actually do the test every two weeks to track your progess.  There are eight exercises, and you try to do as many reps as you can in one minute. I did not record my results on the first day because I was so exhausted that I couldn't count and workout at the same time. Or use a pencil in between exercises. But I did record the other tests. The left column is day 14, the right is the last day.

 

And just to note, I disctinctly remember that on day 1, I did ZERO switch kicks.  As in none.  To go from 0 to 140 is, well, crazy.  That means I did 140 kicks in one minute.  Over two per second.  I am a MACHINE.  Besides giving me energy, I have gained 4 lbs of pure muscle, mostly in my legs, I am sure.  Yes, I am heavier now than before I started, but I don't care.  Did I mention that I am a MACHINE?!

Also, I did not think to take a before picture of myself.  I really wish I would have, because I would have loved to send in the before and afters to Beach Body and receive an Insanity T-shirt.  But I definitely took some after pictures:

These babies can do 33 push-up jacks in a minute.  Real ones, not the girl ones.

My dancer calves are back! 

These are the abs that bore three children.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

And there you have it.  The program rocks.  It gives results. And it is sort of addicting.  Like I am sort of sad that it's over and I may just start all over again.  Oh...THAT's why it's called Insanity...