The human pacifier

When I signed myself up for breastfeeding the little sir, I failed to read the small print at the bottom of his little bum that says “I may also require the use of your breasts for pacifier purposes.  Any attempt to withdraw your boobies simply because I am not actively eating may result in mayhem and chaos.  You have been warned.”

Take for instance, yesterday: the little man decided that he wanted to use me as a soother for 4 hours in the afternoon.  When it seemed like he was asleep (after conducting the limp arm test), I would take him off the mommy soother.  He woke up seconds later with full-on crying and anger at what I had done, and promptly latched himself right back on.  Not to eat, simply to suck and pacify himself.

I wouldn’t mind so much if I could let him do this pacifying on the run, while I type or cook.  However, I don’t have one of those marvels we call a mother-sling, meaning that I am pretty much confined to a chair while he soothes himself.  And on top of that, he exercises his revenge on my attempts to unlatch him by ardently munching on me.  Not so much that he gives me a hicky (as he did the first time he ate in the hospital) but enough that I wince and immediately regret my attempts to try and get some housework done.

Lesson to be learned: you can’t fight the desires of a 3 week old.  Take Advil if the munching continues long past the appropriate vengeful period.