The main bullet point of this presentation

• Sacha pronounces pumpkin "cappi". How the heck does that happen?


• The pumpkin I carved yesterday had an anus. The pumpkin Tony carved had a pseudo-anus (it was closed up). Like someone who has had a colostomy.


• Keeping with that, how do people with colostomy bags fart? Does it smell? If so, like regular farts or more like baby-spit-up (partially digested prunes and what-not)?


• Why is Hippo Monkey always so constipated? And why doesn't Lactulose work for him? Does he have bowels of steel or something? Or maybe some sort of micro-steel that doesn't absorb anything and won't flex to let the poop out?


• Why is software so expensive? I really want Dreamweaver CS4, but I really don't want to pay $399 for it. And Santa is not that rich in our house. Or in my mother's house. But I do really want to get into web designing. Frick on a stick.


• On that note, why the heck is Tupperware so expensive??


• Furthermore, must get ideas for Christmas gifts for the Hippo Monkey (aka Kees) that Sacha will not steal the minute the unwrapping is over.


• Scratch that. Impossible.


• Is wealth distribution really such a bad thing? If so, I must be a Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Or worse. A FRENCH Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Wait. I am French. Hmmm...


• How am I to keep Sacha away from the Halloween stash so as to prevent further candy-sugar-induced night terrors? Like the one last night that woke up his brother? Oh wait. His brother wakes up every 2 hours for his damn suce (aka binky, toot, soother, crack, whatever else you call it in your house).


• Happy Feet is the most annoying movie ever made. And WHY do people think it is a kids' movie? Showing the penguins being all sexed-up and dirty dancing-like and with At.ti.tude. It's just creepy. That's all. Just creepy. Goonies...now THERE is a good movie! And it teaches a good lesson, too: don't drop your baby, or when he grows up, he'll throw you off a pirate ship.

Answers to any of these are most appreciated. In the comments section. Right below. See? Yeah, you know you wanna.

Kees and the No-Hawk

After receiving many questions and comments (mostly from relatives or close friends) about Kees's new do, and getting tired of hearing myself tell the story over and over, regardless of how humorous they thought it was, I decided to buzz it.



Sarah: 1

Faux-hawk: 0

Any questions?

Hair-apy

Kees had a comb-over hair-do when he emerged from the womb. A full head of dirty blond hair, neatly parted on the top (to the right).



Then, after the age of 3 months, it began to wear off on the sides.  It was thinning out as his head grew, or so I thought.



And then, all of a sudden, at 5 months, it looked like this:



And this:



And people started to talk.  In fact, at a party last week, one of my cousins interrupted another to ask me what the deal was with Kees's hair.  She asked if I had cut it like that.  Another cousin of mine actually told his wife that I had cut it that way on purpose.  Obviously, he did not clear this notion with me first.

Now why the heck would I cut it into a faux-hawk like that?  So I explained that he was born with a full head of hair, and then he began rolling in his sleep from side to side, rubbing all the hair off his head EXCEPT for the top.

I have always been against cutting my own child's hair.  That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.  But today, I bit the bullet and cut The Hair.





I think I may have just sent Kees into therapy.

Why oh why?

Why is it that when you are sleep deprived and given the chance to sleep, you can't?

Hence my being awake at 11:06 pm while the babes sleep.

Does anyone have a cure for that?  ANYONE?