Why won't my babies sleep?

Why won't my babies sleep?

I ask this every morning, it seems.  Sacha has been a bad sleeper since birth.  He used to have to sleep on our chests until he was almost 3 months, then he just decided that sleep was optional and started waking up every hour or so wanting nothing but to be nursed. Even now, at 2 years of age, he still wakes up at night, sometimes too often to keep track.

Kees started out as a miracle sleeper.  He slept a solid 8 hours at night until he was 3 months old.  Then it all went to crap. It started with one night waking.  Then 2.  Now, over a month later, he wakes up every 2 hours, sometimes more often. He doesn't always require nursing to go back down, but the sleep disturbance is really getting to me.

We have every sleep book there is.  They are in a leaning tower of ass-vice on my night stand.

The thing is, my kids are very happy.  They are not cranky.  They are not fussy.  They are good nappers. I know that the night wakings are not affecting their state of being.

It's mine (and my dear partner in crime's) that I worry about.

I know many of you are thinking "Just let him cry it out!  In 3 days, it will be all over and things will be right as reign."  I think the same thing.

It sure as hell did NOT work for Sacha. We tried.  God KNOWS how we tried.  But Kees is a different little person, so maybe it could work.

And then when I hear him cry, I just cannot do it.  I get anxious.  I get frustrated.  I get angry.

I don't think letting him cry-it-out is for me.

Should I just resign myself to the fact that my babies don't sleep?

How to get rid of fruit flies

Drosophila is a genus of small flies, belonging to the family Drosophilidae, whose members are often called "fruit flies" or more appropriately vinegar flies, wine flies, pomace flies, grape flies, and picked fruit-flies, a reference to the characteristic of many species to linger around overripe or rotting fruit. (taken from wikipedia).

They linger.  They reproduce like crazy. They suck billy goat.

Fortunately, there is a sure fire way to rid yourself of them and have a good time while doing it.

How to get rid of fruit flies:

1. Buy a bottle of Magnotta Vidal Ice Wine from your local liquor store.  It runs about $30-50 per bottle.


2. Pour an ounce or so into a small espresso cup.


3. Leave the cup on counter overnight.


4. Drink rest of Magnotta Vidal Ice Wine.  Play a little Wii Teniis.


5. Wake up completely hung over and sick from overdoing it on the ice wine Wii Tennis and find that fruit flies also enjoy Magnotta Vidal Ice Wine:

Poor buggers.  Just don't know when to stop.  But, if you have to die at all, drowning in ice wine would probably be right up there on my list of ways to go.

This is what sick looks like

Men are wimps when it comes to being sick.  Every cough will kill them, every sore throat maim their manhood, and every tummy ache sends them straight to the couch for some immediate TV and self-loving.  Wait, not that kind.  Get your mind out tha gutter.

And they learn early.

Sacha was sick on Friday.  All he wanted was to watch The Lion King (or "Grand Kitty Kah") and lay on the couch with his two friends, Chatters and Chelsea.  And since I am inclined, as a mom, to avoid whining from those of feeble tummies (who had already puked all over me and himself and the floor of Walmart), I let him.



**Turned out he had myringitis, an inflammation of the eardrum, which causes blisters to form on said drum and then they pop.  And seeing how this affects the middle ear, his sense of balance was wacked out, which made him puke no less than 3 times after that blister popped.  Coolio.  Oh, and it is common for blood to trickle out of the ear when this happens.  How's THAT for parenting funsies?!

Onward, Potty Soldiers!

Since Sacha turned the big TWO last week, we have started thinking about potty training. I purchased a potty and placed it in the bathroom and waited for Sacha to figure it out on his own.  He's a smart kid.  He can do it.

Sacha came to tell me "caca" (which he always does before or during a poop).  I asked him if he wanted to sit on his potty, and he did.  Unfortunately, by the time I put Kees down and got Sacha's pants down and diaper off and socks off (as requested by the training two-year-old), he had already pooped.  BUT he insisted on sitting on the potty anyway.  He tapped his feet and kept checking in the pot to see if anything had happened.  Kees and I just sat next to him and played.  Then, Sacha looked down, then stood up and pointed in the potty.  I looked and saw...

PEE!  He actually peed in the potty!  Party time!  Kiss Kiss Hug Hug Pat on the Back I am SO Proud of YOU Have a Chocolate!

He later awoke from his nap with a dry diaper and insisted on sitting on the potty again to pee.  Which he did.  BOO YA!

I am the world's best super-mom!  My kid can potty train himself!  Throw away all diapers, baby!  Penis on a mission coming through!

Then he peed in his diaper all afternoon.  And before his bath, in which he ALWAYS pees as soon as his toes touch the water, I asked him if he wanted to pee.  He placated me by sitting on the potty, but nothing.  So he got up, went into the tub, and peed there.

Must now dig diapers out of trash.

And order potty training books.

Onward, Potty Soldiers!

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If you are wondering where the hell I've been, I will tell you that I am "borrowing" my innerwebs from an unsuspecting kind neighbour.  It is not always stable or very strong.  On top of that, I am actually embracing what it means to blog "guilt-free" and loving it.