Thing One and Thing Two

This is the result of 2 whole nights of knitting. Actually, I think it took me about 5 hours or so, and some of that was spent trying to figure out how to make a stupid I-cord. THe story goes that it is called I-cord, where the I stands for Idiot, because if you follow the instructions and it doesn’t turn out, you must be an idiot. Well, I am an idiot.

However, the I-cord on this hat is only 1” long, and it is used to secure the pom pom, so it is more functional than for looks, and it serves its function, so who cares what it looks like. You can’t even see it.

And yes, I realize that it is NOT Christmas anymore, but I have leftover yarn and wanted to try it out. I purposely knit it to fit a 6 month (up to 1 year, depending on the size of the noggin) because I know about 6 or 7 gals that are expecting this summer, and their babies will be around 6 months old for Christmas 2007. Will YOU be the lucky one who gets this adorable hat? Only time will tell...

Tips for the newbies

It seems lately that every convo I have lately involves the retelling of labour and delivery stories: tearing, stitching, barfing, the whole bit. Now, this is all fine and dandy if you are talking to a fellow mother. When conversing to a mother-to-be, I believe the following should be discussed and advised before she gets to the hospital:

1. DON’T bother bringing make-up to the hospital. Having a baby makes you feel beautiful (much like a cow feels beautiful), and you won’t need it.
2. DO buy extra large granny panties (about 10 per day for 14 days) for the post delivery fun times. These are never to be washed. That’s what garbages are for.
3. DO bring your own towels. Trying to dry yourself with what can only be described as a hanky is unpleasant at the best of times. Your next best thing - if you forget the large bath towels, you can use some of the granny panties.
4. DO bring munch-upons to the hospital. THe food is questionable at best, and not always conducive to nursing moms.
5. DON’T bother bringing your Enya CD, relaxation mix-tape, or BeeGees Number One Hits to soothe your way through the experience. You will understand later and thank me.
6. BROTH is not a food. The nurses may tell you is it, but they are lying. Throw rocks at them (or if possible, vomit on their shoes).
7. A BED PAN is not an appropriate receptacle for vomit. See item 6 for best disposal locations.
8. BREATHING and RELAXING through the pain is equivalent to banging your head on the corner of your coffee table when you have a migraine.
9. BRING warm fuzzy slippers. The floors are not only cold, but you have puked on them (again, see item 6).
10. WHINE, COMPLAIN, CRY, YELL, SCREAM all you want during and after (and anytime in the months and years to come). It’s your right as a mother.
11. You have no idea what’s going to hit you, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Oh - DO NOT tell them about the sleep thing. This is about post-baby sleep in general. No matter how much you warn, they will never fully understand until they get there and wade through the river styx themselves.

Canada's Next Top Model

For T’s birthday, I decided to do something a little different.  I have become the queen of the Jersey over the past years, and I wanted this year’s gift to be a total surprise.  So I went and had pics taken of myself at a professional photography studio - wearing less than a full outfit.  And the results were amazing.  From 200 frames, I had 59 good pictures to choose from.  After an hour, I narrowed it down to 9 of my favourites.  Since I am not made of money, I could only afford to buy 2 for Tony - and here they are (in their cropped versions).  Tony was so enthralled that he wanted to take them to work.  Umn, no dear.  Those are not suitable for pharmaceutical displays.  Unless you’re trying to increase Viagra sales.
Now, since this is a public site, I will post the cropped pics - even they are stunning.  Just goes to show - any mother can clean up pretty nicely!

Smallest adult toque ever

This was a learning experience: I learned how to purl, change colours, make stripes, do a ribbed stitch, do a mattress stitch, and knit a flat piece (as I am accustomed to knitting in the round).

So this isn’t my best work. The toque was supposed to be for my hubby (as seen here) but as you can clearly see, it scarcely covers his noggin. He said that he would wear it as a skull cap for whenever we go to synagogue. The only problem with that is that we are not Jewish. Oh well, at least he tried. The toque barely fits me, and as I am not one for toques of any kind, I think I will be passing this along to a neighbourhood kid or save it for when Sacha’s head grows into it. Which, based on the teeny nature of this knitting fiasco, shouldn’t be too long.

All in all, the hat as a toque may be a dud, but at least we have something to cover our heads when we pray

.

Turtles or bust!

My second project has now been completed: the turtle hat!
The hat knit up pretty easily, but those damn turtles were more than I bargained for.  They are crocheted and then sewn on.  I know how to crochet, so I read the pattern and thought they would be easy peasy to make.  HA!

The lady who wrote that pattern obviously didn’t know how to count.  If followed exactly, the turtle ends up with four legs and a head on the front half of its body, and then a nubbin of a tail way in the back, which ends up sort of looking like a poo nugget.

So, am I still in love with the jabbers and knotting?  ABSOLUTELY!  I am totally scamming on a Namaste (which I have been pronouncing oh-so-wrong) knitting bag in the hopes of scoring one for my birthday.  The messenger bag is fun, although I CANNOT decide which colour I like best.  Pink (rose) or Pink (cranberry) or Pink (mauve)?   And those needles? Ooh la la!  And the Knit Picks Options pack seems to be calling my name. Although the cable lengths are not small enough to make my sweet little Sacha caps, but I really like the idea of being able to make whatever size of circular needle I want (as the knitting store here in town has little variety in that department and Walmart?  Puh-lease!)

Anyway, I just realized that this is turning into more of a wishlist than a blog, so I’ll end this post with a little request for my readers: TAKE UP KNITTING!